My view on my relationships.

Well, My experiences in relationships starting from my ex, JT. Since that was the first real relationship I had. We went out for almost three years. He left me cause he wasn't in love with me anymore. Plus someone else had his attention. Next Alex and I went out for three years and Yes we have broken up a lot, but we always thought we could stick things out and now he tells me that he's not in love with me anymore. I don't blame myself for this what so ever. I'm just learning from this and saying that I'm not ready to be in another relationship. I need to stop being Codependent. Will it take a long time? Yes....it could take years. Will it be hard? Oh hell yes. Especially if I get really old and everyone including there mothers are either getting remarried or just have kids. It's just suppose to be this way. That's why it happened to me twice. So I have to be really careful to not even have sex with someone or get hopeful about someone either. For example I was going to move in with Kalan and live in Savannah, but this past two weekends ago.....We kissed slept in the same bed and he even kissed me goodbye before he went to work. Think about it... This happened in two days. So think about what would happen if we lived together. Plus since I didn't sleep with him, he isn't as interested in me. Doesn't call me, doesn't text or when I told him that he needs to come to ATL.....he said,"Well I have to come to see my son and other people." That was the last time I called him. So anyways my point is that if I get intimate with someone then my hopes get high and then since they know my deal about I can't have sex cause we aren't in a relationship,or  I can't be in one right now they totally just stop talking to me. I mean I'm not torn or anything, but WTF??!! I guess it's a good thing I didn't sleep with him cause that was what he was looking for. Guys are just retarded. I swear......I just got agitated cause I was in Alex's room and he came in there went to the bathroom came out with this look on his face. I asked, "what's wrong?" He just threw a fit and walked out saying,"don't worry your fine." So I got the hint that he wanted to go to bed. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO JUST SAY," CAN I GET MY ROOM BACK SO I CAN GO TO BED!!!!??? I mean seriously? I can't read your stupid mind. Gah!